Searching for a blog topic today… I looked back at things I have written in the past. I quickly realized.. I don’t live there anymore, why am I even looking there? So, I spoke about what is in my heart right now and what I plan to do about it. Enjoy!
Those ah ha moments in our life where we see more clearly patterns in our past. Trace your own timeline back and look at all the things that went wrong, why and how they went wrong.. take a look at those events with a more clear vision and perspective. The patterns are there.. they may be hidden but when you can manage to “see” them differently… the patterns reveal themselves. When we have found that moment … that thing that was once hidden from us, that is when we are then allowed to heal and to grow and to move forward.
Obstacles are opportunities for growth and healing. Do we allow them to block us from moving forward or do we use them as opportunities for growth and healing? Being able to stand on your path and look back at what you have overcome is a great feeling. Life will throw us many obstacles… forge past them and take that lesson and learn from it and allow yourself to heal once you have made it past. Look at what you have already survived… you can do this.
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Lately I have had big problems sleeping. My mind doesn’t stop going over and over what I’ve recently been through. I’m ready to let it go but mind seems to disagree when I try to go to sleep.
I keep trying meditation and focusing on others things but nope my brain says lets go back over here … I say noooooooooo I don’t want to go back over there … and my brain says like it or not here we go!
I want to be past it so bad and while I am awake I feel that I am okay for the most part, except for the occasional thought that usually comes unexpected and causes a brief meltdown. I go to bed NOT thinking about it and suddenly BAM! There it is like Groundhog Day, rerunning over and over through my mind. I try shifting my thoughts, I try focusing on other things, nothing seems to be helping right now.
I decided I had to go a step further to rid myself of these haunting images and thoughts. I did a little unbinding ceremony. I took a piece of ribbon (in this case I used black, thought it was most fitting), I tied it on both ends. One end I imagined it being me and the other end my ex. I smudged the ribbon, I asked that we be untied in all ways for the better of everyone involved. I wanted to unbind myself from him so that I could let the haunting memories and destructive thoughts go. I severed the ribbon in half and burned each end before the knots so that we were fully separate. My heart and soul no longer tied to the hurt and pain. I cried for a moment and let it all go.
Last night was the first night in months that I didn’t have any of those memories and thoughts running through my head all night long. The torment that is caused when you can’t get something like this out of your mind, can be so damaging. I was actually able to sleep and dream of other things. The relief that was given to me, priceless. Heavy sigh of relief. I had tried so many things and nothing helped. Sometimes we have to create a physical act for our minds to truly grasp the end and allow us to completely let go.
(Please always make sure that when doing these type of ceremonies that you do them with love in your heart and the best intentions for everyone involved.)
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I have heard many quotes about the past…. from leaving it behind to not living there anymore to it defining who we are.
My message today is: It’s not about my past, it’s about where I am right now.
Does my past define me? NO, but it has played a part in how I have shaped myself.
Do we carry the past around with us? Yes, of course we do, the past is filled with lessons that we went through for a reason. If we left them on the side of the road and forgot them, we would just repeat them over and over again. So, our past does follow us in that way. We just need to not allow the past to interfere with our progress forward.
The past is for me to remember and keep those lessons learned, not for you to worry about.
The past does not define me, I define me. I choose the steps I take each and every day. The past taught me lessons that I shall not forget that help me make better choices in my walk.
Someone suggested yesterday that I speak a little about holding on to anger, so here I am talking about holding on to pain and anger. I’m adding in pain, but this should include any type of negative emotion, behavior or thought.
Holding on to these things do us no good at all. They stew inside us and destroy our chances of peace and happiness. Negativity robs us of so many things and can hold us back from progressing forward.
So, you are holding on to anger from something that has happened to you, or you are holding on to pain from a past event or you have developed some sort of negative behavior, stemming from something that happened…. in the PAST. PAST being the keyword here. You cannot go back and change what has happened, you can’t rewind and replay and expect a different result. Why hold on to these thoughts or feelings? What good are they doing? Is the other party learning any lessons, are they suffering from what you continue to hold on to? NOPE! They are most likely oblivious to your own internal pain and self punishment while you suffer daily.
So why hold on?
It’s in the past… it happened. EVERYONE has had bad things happen to us… EVERYONE. You are not alone. LET IT GO! It does not serve you at all to continue holding on to the negativity. It hurts you and you alone… why allow a negative experience from the past to continue interrupting your present and infect your future?
LET IT GO… It will be the best gift you ever give yourself… that release will be your new found freedom.
Yesterday I began writing a poem about Fall, my thoughts quickly went to the end of summer and all that is no longer. I only got a few lines into it when I got stuck. I kept going back to it throughout the day… trying to finish it but something just wouldn’t allow it. This morning it was clear…. I wasn’t suppose to look at what has ended but at what has begun.
Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh … LOL
So here I stand with arms wide open ready to embrace the new season. I shall not mourn what has passed but remember fondly the great moments that were had. I look forward with bright eyes ready for the days to come and stand proudly in the moment, enjoying each day.
Bring on the crisp mornings, the colors of change and the new landscape before us.
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