letting go of pain

A Surprise Visit from a Hummingbird

This morning just as I clicked record on my phone, a hummingbird showed up outside my window. For today’s message it is only fitting that we talk about the hummingbird and what it reminds us of in life. The lessons our dear little feathered friend has oh and for another surprise Spirit gives me a random message at the end about the dance… not sure who that is for but I have faith that it will reach it’s intended target.

Many Blessings,
ravensig

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Spirit Message – Dreams Coming True

Spirit shows me some amazing things coming for so many … I try to describe the images that come to me, but I am filled with great emotion and happiness for what is on it’s way. This is a beautiful time to be living and Spirit reminds us to take in every moment with love and gratitude.

Many Blessings,
ravensig

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How We View Our Path

A bit of reflection today about the journey we have been on, about the obstacles, the hardships, the trials and errors and also about the love, the joy and the happiness that we have been a part of. I speak about turning a negative into a positive, about lessons and letting go of the pain.. I speak about holding on to faith and believing in your path.

Many Blessings,
ravensig

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Viewer’s Choice

Tonight I let some of my viewers decide on the video topics. Here are the results in these 3 videos about Travel, Letting Go and Home. Enjoy!

How We Travel and Where We Wander

There’s No Place Like Home

Letting Go

Many Blessings,
ravensig

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What it’s like in the storm

Edited in Nokia Glam MeSearching for words to say … and I can’t find anything. It’s like … a run down house in the middle of no where that has been long abandoned … no one is there and hasn’t been for a very long time. The weeds have taken over and decay has set in… seen to the world as an eyesore… just left to rot.

Needing some major weeding to be done and some tlc. It’s been a really long time since I have felt like me, wondering if I’ve ever been me. Feeling very lost, alone and afraid of the unknown. Angered at my fragility. Hating that I fall to pieces at the drop of a hat. I shake from the inside out, through the day and I don’t know how to make it stop. Trying to keep my mind occupied on other things but suddenly overcome by reality and I fall to pieces once again. Questioning my existence and why I chose this life. What is all this pain for? Where is the bright side that everyone says is there? Trying my best to keep my eye on the horizon, hoping to see the light that always shows up just after the storm. Giving myself a pep talk every few minutes. I can do this, I am stronger than I feel, I will make it beyond this point, I will get through this storm.

I write this not for sympathy or any of the like, but to help myself heal, saying out loud what is going on inside, for so long I have kept my feelings bottled up, placing my focus on the happiness and well being of others. It’s my turn now and there is a lifetime of healing that needs to be done.

Many Blessings,

ravensig

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My Birthday

IMG_2933Yep today is my birthday … but instead of being happy, I’m very emotional and ready for it to end. This happens every year. I know it’s coming and I try to mentally prepare… I try to get over my obstacles but I have yet to find the trick that works.

You see I have a terrible history when it comes to my birthday, let me explain, then you’ll understand me a little bit more. Growing up I had maybe 2 parties on my birthday one when I was in 1st grade and another when I was 16. Yep that’s it. You see my mother always said she didn’t want to have a party for me because she didn’t want people to think they had to buy me something. She didn’t want others to buy me gifts. I understand that concept because it’s not about the gifts it’s about celebrating your life. It’s about those you love and care for coming together to celebrate the fact that you were born and that you exist in this world.

I understood this even at a very young age but what was hard is going to all my cousins’ birthday parties and giving them gifts and watching them be celebrated while I wasn’t worth celebrating. At least that’s certainly how it felt. I got to watch as others were celebrated and I had to participate in celebrating everyone else, including my mother’s birthday and my dad’s … oh dear would she always get upset if she wasn’t celebrated enough. She was never happy with what others did for her. Nothing was ever exactly how she wanted it.. so I had to prepare for that as well, the backlash that came with her being overly unhappy on her birthday.

So even now I have a hard time with my own birthday. I don’t know how to let go of all those years of holding in the pain. I had to always mask my feelings and just get over it. I wish I knew how to let it go and make it go away but even with all the wisdom, spirit messages and well wishes I just can’t find that magical thing that helps.

I don’t want anyone to feel sorry or bad for me and I don’t want to chat about it … I just want all those years washed away and I want to not feel this way every single year. Distractions are the best … diving deep into a project or doing something completely not related to my birthday is my only way to cope and get beyond this moment.

Now you all have a little understanding for one of my worst pains.

If you see me on one of my birthdays and I’m acting what you might think is a little odd… now you’ll understand why. Just remember … it’s not you … it’s me. LOL

At least I always know that TOMORROW will be a much better day! 🙂

Many Blessings,
Raventalker