chaos

A Gift from Spirit

Tonight I share with you a short story about rebuilding after the storm… a gift of time from Spirit and how to use that gift more wisely. ENJOY!

Many Blessings,
ravensig

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The Roller Coaster of Change

IMG_4174I have been through so many life changes, I think I must be getting use to it. In times past I would fight the change and battle to keep my world from changing whether it was good for me or not. Today I sit here thinking about how I have changed through all of these changes. I am much more calm, there seems to be a knowing growing inside me that tells me that once the storm has passed, life will open up to new surprises. Not knowing what those surprises will be doesn’t even stress me out like they use to. I think I’m looking forward to the unknown.. not having everything perfectly mapped out. Through all the battles I have been through, I think I have finally figured out how to find inner calmness. There may be a storm all around me of chaos and change but inside, I have control and staying calm inside while I pass through these troubling times, is a reward all on its own. Okay so if I’m honest, I’m not always so calm. My emotions are heightened and at the drop of a pin I might start crying uncontrollably or if someone asks me what’s going on or if someone comes up and gives me a hug, or looks at me with that compassionate look. I have to allow myself time to grieve the loss and allow the tears to cleanse my spirit.

The tears don’t mean I’m broken, they mean I am healing. So if you see me crying, know that I am on the mend for better days ahead.

Many Blessings,
Raventalker

What it’s like in the storm

Edited in Nokia Glam MeSearching for words to say … and I can’t find anything. It’s like … a run down house in the middle of no where that has been long abandoned … no one is there and hasn’t been for a very long time. The weeds have taken over and decay has set in… seen to the world as an eyesore… just left to rot.

Needing some major weeding to be done and some tlc. It’s been a really long time since I have felt like me, wondering if I’ve ever been me. Feeling very lost, alone and afraid of the unknown. Angered at my fragility. Hating that I fall to pieces at the drop of a hat. I shake from the inside out, through the day and I don’t know how to make it stop. Trying to keep my mind occupied on other things but suddenly overcome by reality and I fall to pieces once again. Questioning my existence and why I chose this life. What is all this pain for? Where is the bright side that everyone says is there? Trying my best to keep my eye on the horizon, hoping to see the light that always shows up just after the storm. Giving myself a pep talk every few minutes. I can do this, I am stronger than I feel, I will make it beyond this point, I will get through this storm.

I write this not for sympathy or any of the like, but to help myself heal, saying out loud what is going on inside, for so long I have kept my feelings bottled up, placing my focus on the happiness and well being of others. It’s my turn now and there is a lifetime of healing that needs to be done.

Many Blessings,

ravensig

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