I have been through so many life changes, I think I must be getting use to it. In times past I would fight the change and battle to keep my world from changing whether it was good for me or not. Today I sit here thinking about how I have changed through all of these changes. I am much more calm, there seems to be a knowing growing inside me that tells me that once the storm has passed, life will open up to new surprises. Not knowing what those surprises will be doesn’t even stress me out like they use to. I think I’m looking forward to the unknown.. not having everything perfectly mapped out. Through all the battles I have been through, I think I have finally figured out how to find inner calmness. There may be a storm all around me of chaos and change but inside, I have control and staying calm inside while I pass through these troubling times, is a reward all on its own. Okay so if I’m honest, I’m not always so calm. My emotions are heightened and at the drop of a pin I might start crying uncontrollably or if someone asks me what’s going on or if someone comes up and gives me a hug, or looks at me with that compassionate look. I have to allow myself time to grieve the loss and allow the tears to cleanse my spirit.
The tears don’t mean I’m broken, they mean I am healing. So if you see me crying, know that I am on the mend for better days ahead.