hurtful words

Falling in Love

A dear friend of mine posted a picture of a loving young couple and stated that “2015 is going to be the year I fall in love again… Onward and upward Its coming.. its my turn. I can feel it”. (Thank you Januarie for the inspiration)

My instant response to her post was, “I’m going to fall back in love with me!”.

For years I have taken to heart all the terrible things others have said and done to me. I have allowed these words and actions to get stuck in my head, swirling around like a vicious tornado, destroying every positive thought that appeared. I allowed this. These are important words “I ALLOWED THIS”. I would tell myself all the time that I was not what they made me feel like. Their words and actions are a reflection of them and not me. I would repeat these things to myself all the time and yet their negative words and actions still swirled around in my head, leaving me feeling sad, hurt, alone, ugly, useless, undesirable, etc.

I knew these things they said and did were not really about me, so why were they so stuck in my head? Why couldn’t I get them out? Why was I hanging on to them? That’s it! I held on to those words and actions, I was the one who could not let them go. Why? I’m guessing a multitude of reasons, dating back to my earliest memories as a child. I know I wasn’t born to feel this way, so it must have been a million little things throughout my lifetime that just gathered like dust under grandma’s old dresser, that over time built ilovemeup into the largest, scariest dust bunny anyone has ever seen!

2015 is the year I begin learning how to love myself again. I’m going back to the day I was born. Fresh and new to the world without all the crap others left at my door. I’m no longer a collector of their shit. I am falling in love this year and it’s going to be the best happily ever after in history. I’ll be falling back in love with myself. Loving every imperfect inch of me, flesh and bone, body, mind and spirit. I’m going to love every gift, every fault, every thing that I am. I will own it and I will love it! I will love me! Once and for all I WILL LOVE ME!

This is my gift to myself this year… TRUE LOVE… HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Many Blessings,

ravensig

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The Most Deadly Virus

WP_20140715_016It’s a nasty, terrible virus. The side effects are the worst of all. The good thing is that it affects only those who allow it. So you do have a choice in the matter at least. Once you have this ghastly virus, it can be extremely hard to get rid of. THERE IS A CURE!!  YES indeed.. A CURE!!!

What virus am I talking about?

This virus is the negativity of others. Hateful, hurtful words and actions of others that get stuck in your head. The pain of rejection from someone else because you didn’t match whatever fantasy they had cooked up in their own head, that’s not really about you, it’s about them and what they had imagined, they are the ones living in fantasy.. don’t allow their voice, their words, their actions get stuck in your head, causing you pain and heartache. Some people are just nasty characters who strive in the misery of others… putting others down, makes them feel better about themselves. Don’t catch their virus. It’s deadly! It’s keeps us from shining, it keeps us down in their muck and let me tell you, nothing good ever happens there. This virus is so damaging, it can hang around for years and for some a lifetime.

Wash your hands of these virus carrying monsters and cleanse your mind of everything about them. They don’t belong in your life or your head. Let their words and actions fall upon the ground around you, don’t give them an inch of room in your head. Let them keep what they send out.

Many Blessings,
Raventalker

Wash your hands

Who Am I?

IMG_5903I’ve been called by many names…. some good, some bad. It has taken me many years to realize that it doesn’t matter what others know me by, what matters is how I know myself. It doesn’t matter what they want to call me… it only matters what I believe within myself to be true.

This is something, I’m sure that we all struggle with from time to time… “Not letting the voice of others get stuck in our head“.

Words hurt and they stick to us like some sort of gorilla glue…. that shit is nearly impossible to get off. It takes a conscious ongoing effort to stop those words from hanging around in our heads. A daily reminder that their words are more of a reflection of them than us. Their words, their opinions… only have meaning to us if we allow them to. Only if we do in fact act out what they have suggested, do we become what they say we are.

Be kind to yourself and don’t be one of those people who sends out those hurtful “gorilla glue” words to others.

Just be kind.

Many Blessings,
Raventalker

It’s NOT Okay!

I wrote this several years ago…  and you know.. I STILL find myself saying this …  not as much .. but I still do say it even tho I don’t mean it. Personal or professional life.. we all do this in one way or another.

It’s OK

… how often do you find yourself saying this???

Someone does something intentional sometimes and most times not. It leaves you with  bad feelings in one way or another and you say .. “It’s ok”.

But is it really ok?

What do you do with those feelings you are left with?

Are you able to manage them away? Do you just bury them deep inside you..  in that place where we often place the things we don’t want to deal with .. or don’t know how to deal with .. or are afraid to deal with?

I find myself so often saying this little phrase… as small as it is … it can be very damaging inside.

Not sure how to stop myself from just saying “it’s ok”. Being the kind of person that I am, always wanting to please others and not make anyone feel bad .. wanting to fix all that is wrong with the world. How do I stop myself from saying “it’s ok” and still not feel guilty for possibly making someone feel bad because of it?

Another question in saying that is why is it “I” feel guilty about telling someone it’s NOT ok  and that I am hurt or feeling negative from whatever it was that happened? Especially when I am speaking about something the other person did or said .. because that is the reason we say “it’s ok” to begin with. Telling them not to worry about their words or actions. Telling them not to worry that their words or actions may be causing pain to another.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm .. oh dear ..  it looks like I have opened yet another can of worms inside myself.. now how to work it all out and learn from it and heal myself from all the many years of saying “it’s ok”.

and …..

Will the day ever come that I will find myself not ever HAVING to say “it’s ok” ???

I guess only time will tell .. but I’m certainly not holding my breath…lol

I’d DIE! lol

Many Blessings,
Raventalker