Here we go with my first update on MY YEAR to ENJOY BEING ME!
I was walking through Hobby Lobby today and started down an aisle to look at a giant clock at the other end. There were tons of mirrors in that aisle.. I try my best to avoid mirrors…. the horror of seeing what I look like out in public.. cringe. Just before I got to the clock I turned an saw myself… I paused, stepped back for another look and do you know what??? Other than the typical stuff…. yeah I need to lose some weight, blah blah blah, etc… there was nothing wrong with that reflection. That was me and I’m not all that bad to look at. A bit fluffy but if I really want to change that, I can!
For years I felt so unattractive, not from words said or actions toward me but more because of a lack of actions and just the feeling that I got. One knows when someone else finds them attractive and that’s something I haven’t felt in a very long time. When that feeling is absent in your life long enough, you begin to think you look how you feel inside and inside I felt that I must be hideous. Why else would that feeling of mutual love be held back from me so much? I certainly know I’m far from what most consider beautiful or gorgeous and that’s okay… I’m happy to be me. Today the reflection in that mirror wasn’t hideous at all and it took me by surprise. It was a really nice moment and I hope that it stays with me.