This morning as I was driving to work I was thinking about one of the Olympic ads about a cross country skier I had seen last night. While I was watching the commercial, it made me think back to when I had that kind of determination as a child. I had found an old pair of roller skates at my Grandmother’s house, they were way to big at the time but I put them on anyway and began teaching myself how to skate in her living room. I can’t tell you how many times I fell down and got back up. The thing that stuck with me was how determined I was to stay upright on those skates and to be able to use them without having to hold onto things. I remember doing this for days and days, for hours at a time until I finally found myself skating without any trouble at all.
My mind then went to how fearless I once was. The road I lived on as a child was a steep hill with a level part right where my house was and then back to a steep hill again. I would skate up to the top of the hill and without consideration of traffic (thankfully back then there wasn’t much) I would then skate down the hill. I wish I knew how fast I was going.
At this point you are probably wondering what all this has to do with instinct, well I’m getting to that. The instinct comes from how I skated down that steep hill. Without anyone showing me how to do it, without seeing anyone else ever do it, somehow I just knew the best way to skate down the hill. By some magical inner knowing once I got to the top of the hill, I would squat down low as I made my way down the first steep section of the road, once the road started leveling out I would stand up and then as I approached the next steep section I would squat down again and ready myself to skate into an empty lot across the street from my house. Just before turning my body to glide into the empty lot I pushed one foot forward to keep me balanced as I transitioned from pavement to the grassy lot. This kept me balanced and shifted my weight to the back so that I wouldn’t go head over heels into the grass on my face. No one ever told me this and no one ever showed me and I had never seen it done. Something inside me just automatically knew what to do and what might happen if I didn’t do this. As a kid I never gave any thought to it. All I knew is how much fun it was to coast down that hill at full speed ahead.
Determination taught me how to skate, instinct kept me from killing myself.
When we stop over-thinking, when we let go and trust our inner knowing, when we let go of our fears… we find the tools to do anything we wish to accomplish.
I took this photo today. At first I thought nothing of it .. just thought the color was awesome and it was the last of the summer blooms that we will be seeing this year. When I got home and downloaded it off my camera … I paused and looked at it a bit longer. My first thought was of the old saying “He loves me, He loves me not”… and I thought to myself.. I will label this photo… “He loves me”. So I posted it on my facebook wall and went about my business posting a few other things and liking a post here and there … supporting my friends and then I came back around to the photo. Again, I paused and just starred for a moment. There was something about this rose that I was connecting to and I wasn’t quite sure what that was.
Suddenly, the answer was clear and this phrase came from the tips of my fingers as I began to type out a new caption for it: “When everyone else has let go…You will find me still holding on”.
This pretty much sums up my life in a single phase… When everyone else has let go.. You will find me still holding on.
Always believing in the possibilities ahead.. always carrying hope of better days .. always holding on for whatever is to come… determined not to give up… still holding on.
That look is determination. You see I have a goal and I mean to reach that goal, no matter what it takes.. no matter how much it hurts .. no matter how tired I may be .. no matter what anyone else says, thinks or does… my plan is to stand face to face with my goal and look it straight in the eyes. It may not happen tomorrow, next week or next month… but IT WILL HAPPEN! As long as I tell myself daily that my goal is within reach and I walk in the direction of that goal, doing what needs to be done to reach it.. IT WILL BE MET!
So now I will keep pushing .. keep walking forward and with each day that I do what I need to do to reach my goal, I shall grow with excitment knowing that somewhere down my path … my goal and I will stand face to face .. side by side .. looking each other straight in the eye!
I will not quit .. I will not just sit and wait any longer. I have a goal and I intend on meeting it!
D E T E R M I N A T I O N … brought to you by another 8 miles on the bike!