A dear friend of mine posted a picture of a loving young couple and stated that “2015 is going to be the year I fall in love again… Onward and upward Its coming.. its my turn. I can feel it”. (Thank you Januarie for the inspiration)
My instant response to her post was, “I’m going to fall back in love with me!”.
For years I have taken to heart all the terrible things others have said and done to me. I have allowed these words and actions to get stuck in my head, swirling around like a vicious tornado, destroying every positive thought that appeared. I allowed this. These are important words “I ALLOWED THIS”. I would tell myself all the time that I was not what they made me feel like. Their words and actions are a reflection of them and not me. I would repeat these things to myself all the time and yet their negative words and actions still swirled around in my head, leaving me feeling sad, hurt, alone, ugly, useless, undesirable, etc.
I knew these things they said and did were not really about me, so why were they so stuck in my head? Why couldn’t I get them out? Why was I hanging on to them? That’s it! I held on to those words and actions, I was the one who could not let them go. Why? I’m guessing a multitude of reasons, dating back to my earliest memories as a child. I know I wasn’t born to feel this way, so it must have been a million little things throughout my lifetime that just gathered like dust under grandma’s old dresser, that over time built up into the largest, scariest dust bunny anyone has ever seen!
2015 is the year I begin learning how to love myself again. I’m going back to the day I was born. Fresh and new to the world without all the crap others left at my door. I’m no longer a collector of their shit. I am falling in love this year and it’s going to be the best happily ever after in history. I’ll be falling back in love with myself. Loving every imperfect inch of me, flesh and bone, body, mind and spirit. I’m going to love every gift, every fault, every thing that I am. I will own it and I will love it! I will love me! Once and for all I WILL LOVE ME!
This is my gift to myself this year… TRUE LOVE… HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
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