On the Attack

crow and mockingbirdToday I want to speak a little about how we beat ourselves up… why we beat ourselves up and how to stop the cycle.

I would say that the majority of us have done this in one way or another… we do something or don’t do something and then beat ourselves up over it.

Examples:

I should have said ….

I shouldn’t have said….

I should have done this… or that …I could have done more…

I could have gone farther…

I forgot this .. or forgot that ….

I could have ..

I should have…

Why didn’t I…

Why did I….

blah blah blah … the possibilities are endless..

Why do we feel so much guilt for things we did or didn’t do?

Why then do we torture ourselves with it? Going over and over in our heads .. arguing with ourselves and convincing ourselves that we are less than we should/could be.For some, maybe making ourselves feel bad is so familiar that it feels safe to us.. of course we don’t “knowingly” do this … but we do it.Feeling bad can be so common to us that when there is nothing else to make us feel bad …. we then abuse ourselves in one way or another.. sometimes it is by talking ourselves down… sometimes it is by making decisions that we know are not good for us… and sometimes it is more like a constant arguing with yourself. How do we stop this cycle?

Heck if I know!! I still do it … for instance:

This past weekend I fell and hurt my hip and knee … I’ve recently signed up at the YMCA and am on a mission to rid myself of this excess weight I’ve been carrying around … so this week I have gone to the gym .. I have worked out .. but not full force. My thought is that I don;t want to push myself too far and hurt my knee more and then not be able to work out at all… but as soon as I tell myself that is the reason for not going full force.. I feel guilt .. I know I can do more and so I argue with myself over my own answers…lol.. it’s madness! I feel bad for not doing more … even though it truly is a possibility that if I do push myself to go all the way that I could really strain my knee to the point of being out of commission for a while.. so why can’t I be happy with what I have done.. why beat myself up for what I haven’t done?

Getting myself to the gym and doing what I’ve been doing this week is far more than what I was doing so why is that not enough? Why do I feel the need to beat myself up over it? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…

I know many of you will relate…

Over the years, I do feel that I am doing better at not beating myself up as I use to.. but it still happens … I’m guessing the key is to become aware that we are doing this and once it begins.. STOP! Let it go no further. Pat yourself on the back for noticing and for putting an end to the torture to more forward. Once step at a time…

Many Blessings and healing hugs,
Raventalker

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