family

What I Am and What I’m Not

I was watching America’s Got Talent and there were a couple of Father-Daughter acts and they both brought me straight to tears. I envy the closeness and the support they all had for each other. I come from a family where no one was to succeed. Dream all you want, your dreams are silly and they will never come true. I even witnessed my own mother say to my children how their dreams were stupid and they would never come true. I was in shock and couldn’t believe my ears, even though I knew how she was and that she had been the same way with me through all my years growing up. It was still ever so shocking to hear her say these words to my own children. I would have hoped that she would want more for them.

Growing up I often heard my mother and my aunts always talking negative about everyone. Rarely did they ever speak positively about anyone or any thing. Remarks would be made to myself and my cousins about failure and not living up to our hopes and dreams and that’s all they would ever be.. just hopes and dreams. My mother would also say directly to me how jealous she was over mine and my father’s connection. She hated the attention he would give me and she made it well known quite often. While my father was really only concerned with his own needs… sure he would play games with me when he was around but that was it…. no real talks .. no real conversations. He was good at the fun stuff but that’s where it all ended. No real guidance or support.  So, yes, I am very envious of those kids with their attentive, caring and thoughtful parents.. parents that inspire and support their children’s dreams.

At the end of the day though I can say without doubt that because of how I was raised…. I am who I am today. Determined to prove the naysayers wrong.

Let me explain:

I may not be the best painter
I may not be the best  writer
I may not be the best stained glass artist
I may not be the best photographer
I may not be the best at anything I do ….

BUT…….

I am THE BEST at not giving up
I am THE BEST at dreaming
I am THE BEST at hoping
I am THE BEST at trying again and again
I am THE BEST at loving
I am THE BEST at trying new things
I am THE BEST at overcoming my own fears
I am THE BEST at BEING ME!

Many Blessings,
Raventalker

Family Tree – Interesting Finds

Lately I have been researching my family heritage on Ancestry.com and I am completely facinated by what I find.

So far I have traced one line back to the 1600’s!! How awesome is that .. another back to the early 1800’s so far… but I’m going to keep looking.

I have found that on my father’s side there is little info that I’m able to gather … can’t seem to get past my grandparents at the moment … but I will march on.

What is interesting that I have found out so far is that on my mothers side…

My grandmothers materalside of the family came from  Ireland sometimein the early 1800s .. not exactly sure of their arrival date just yet .. but I am close.

Mygrandmothers paternal side of the family came from somewhere in the UK (either Ireland or England) in 1658 ….  

I find it funny how life again shows us these circles ..  All my life I have been drawn toward Ireland and England.. a huge connection to celtic times…  and now I find that on one side of my family … they have all originated from that area… and now today .. I am married to an englishman who’s mother is irish! hahahaha

Also there is another circle… my grandmothers paternal family came over from the UK in 1658  – just over 200 years later they marry right back into a family from the UK…. crazy huh!

I started this search to find out more about my Cherokee heritage … but have come to a road block on the relative that I have always known to be from that heritage .. Bell Youngblood – born sometime in 1875 … no record of her mother or father yet .. so I am still searching .. it’s crazy to find out that she was married at the age of 14 .. wow how times have changed…

I am truly facinated with all the information I keep finding and can’t wait to find out more.

Just thought I would share with you my findings .. will keep you posted if any new info surfaces!

Oh yeah and almost forgot .. my great grandfather on my mothers side was known by the name of Wild Bill Hamby – but no one seems to know how he got his name… lol .. maybe his father “Big” Rueben gave him the name..lol.. who knows .. it is a family mystery

Many Blessings,
Raventalker