Remember as a kid, how you would compare scars with your friends. Pointing out each scratch and dent, telling the story of how they came to be. As we get older we collect more scars and the type of scars change. In our younger years we collect the scrapes and bruises of physical damage, while as we age we recognize scars in a more mental and emotional way.
Pointing out how this scar came from a bicycle accident and this one was from being bitten by a stray cat and this one here where my finger was caught in the door. Now I stand next to you pointing out the scars from heartache, stress, abuse(self inflicted and other), the scars from failed relationships both romantic and friendships, the scars from my fears, from broken promises(both from myself and from others), scars from falling down (in a non physical way) and the scrapes and bruises endured while picking yourself back up.
This one came from not believing in myself, this one came from giving too much to someone not willing to give back, this one came from rejection, here’s another that came from being afraid, this one is for trusting the wrong person, this one from what I allowed to go on and this one is from love lost. The scars seem to keep adding up, but take a look at how over time, most have healed and others are beginning to heal. The fresh ones you see, they will heal as well and I know that time will be the bandage. Open wounds hurt and that doesn’t change, but knowing that over time the wounds will close and healing will take place is what holds me together for the moment.
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I just had to share this “only in Raventalker’s World” story that happened this morning.
I always get to work an hour or more before I should be here. I like to use that quiet time to get my day organized and to just enjoy a little quiet, me time. So after I get my day ready I decide to step outside to search for some clovers and meditate before everyone starts coming in.
I’m looking in a patch of clovers when a crow lands on the lamp pole on the street next to me. He begins calling in other crows with the short, quick calls. I begin mocking his calls. He calls 3 times, I call 3 times, he calls 4, I call 4, etc. Suddenly another crow lands on the lamp pole just up from us on the street. Now I have 2 of them and I’m mocking both crows. Another crow comes in and lands on the lap pole in the parking lot and now there are 4 of us :-).
Here’s the layout:
All of us are calling back and fourth and I giggle to myself about whats going on. I keep searching through the clovers, and calling at the same time. The crow from the parking lot lamp pole wants a better view at what I’m doing so he flies over to the building behind me. The sun is coming up from the other side of the building so I can see the building’s shadow in front of me. I can see where the crow is and as I continue searching for clovers and mocking their calls, the crow on the building steps around to the other side of me so he can see what I’m doing. Suddenly the crow on the building makes the little growling sound crows make to symbolize affection.
We call a few more times back and fourth and then they all leave.
I felt for a moment like Snow White in the forest talking to the animals. It was a precious moment, connecting with my crow cousins. A moment that in the middle of these hard times, I was able to smile and feel good inside. I didn’t feel so alone and felt connected, a part of something more than just my own being.